From: tyb@lpgov.org [mailto:tyb@lpgov.org]
Sent: Thursday, November 03, 2011 2:51 PM
To: John Broussard
Subject: Re: The Les You Know
Pretty funny forward I got from a female friend of mine.
Aside from the grammatical mistakes, I'd say these predictions are on par.
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A serious and realistic look at how LSU and Alabama match up
Quarterback - LSU has Jarrett Lee and Jordan Jefferson, Alabama has AJ McCarron. Lee is smarter than McCarron and better looking. Jefferson is stronger and while he should not have been in a bar fight, much overlooked is the fact he won the fight. McCarron's judgment has to be in question with the tattoo of Jesus and his "bama boy" nickname that covers his whole chest. Note to self - if I get drunk and want a tattoo go for small sailboat on ankle instead of religious mural on chest. Note to McCarron - Jesus does not like Alabama football, if he did would he let the spawn of satan be their coach? Advantage - LSU
Running back - Alabama has a freight train Heisman favorite in Trent Richardson. LSU is deeper than the Mariana trench at running back with Ware, Blue, Ford, Hilliard and McGee. LSU has student trainers who could start at running back for most schools. Advantage - LSU
Wide receiver - Alabama has the alliterative Marquis Maze and LSU has the equally alliterative Reuben Randle. Both receivers run really rad routes. LSU has Russell Shepherd and Odell Beckham Jr in their three receiver set. I don't know who else Alabama has and am too lazy to look it up. Miles has offered Odell Beckham III a scholarship and he hasn't even been born yet. Advantage - LSU
Offensive line - Alabama has NFL first round draft pick to be Barrett Jones at one tackle and probable future NFL tackle DJ Fluker at the other. Fluker is no fluke. LSU has T-Bob who grew up playing catch with his dad while facing the other way. LSU and Alabama have more road graders on there respective offensive lines than a John Deere dealership. Alabama's starting line weights a combined 1524 pounds, LSU's weighs 1525. Advantage - LSU (by one pound)
Defensive line - How fast is Barkevious Mingo? He missed the bus to the Mississippi State game, ran to Starkville and got their first. The Justice League of America put the Flash on waivers and offered Mingo. The Fantastic Four has talked to Miles about trading the Thing for the Freak. Advantage - LSU
Linebacker - Three of the four Alabama linebackers will probably be NFL first rounders, Donta Hightower, Nico Johnson and Courtney Upshaw. It is hard to say if any of the LSU linebackers will get drafted and two of them are converted safeties. You still have to favor LSU. Advantage - slight LSU
Defensive backs - Both teams have NFL probable first round picks everywhere in their starting secondary. Bama has Barron and Kirkpatrick, LSU Claiborne and Mathieu. The difference is LSU has NFL bound nickel and dime backs. Advantage - LSU
Cheergirls - Alabama has the Crimsonettes and LSU the Golden Girls. I am no big fan of Alabama to be sure, but like all southern states they have hot women. The difference is that the Crimsonettes are baton twirlers and are chosen based on their timing and coordination meaning looks is but one factor. Golden girls are chosen solely on hotness which is the only talent required for the job. Does anyone really care that they cannot twirl? Advantage - LSU
Bands - Alabama has the million dollar band which I guess was a big deal fifty years ago. Half the coon asses going to this game from Louisiana will be driving custom made buses worth more than a million. LSU's band plays neck and get crunk. Advantage - LSU
Coaches - LSU has a really good coach who is cool and says all kinds of whacked out stuff no one can understand. Alabama has a really good coach who is a dick. Advantage - LSU
Prediction: Miles goes for two with time expired for a 22-21 win.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
From: John Broussard <JBroussard@treasury.state.la.us>
Date: Thu, 3 Nov 2011 14:15:28 -0500
Subject: The Les You Know
This is a must read. Absolutely great article.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=111103/LesMiles
Boudin Chaud. Cous Cous Froide. Allons Tigres--Poussez Poussez Poussez
John Broussard
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State of Louisiana
Department of the Treasury
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