ST. PATRICK’S DAY ENGAGEMENT
An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.
'It was in honour of St. Patrick's Day.' he smiled. 'I gave you a sham rock.’
A Irishman walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque. He marched straight up to the counter and said,
"Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2009 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. The daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.
The Irishman, just plain wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullshittin' me!'
The social worker said, 'Yeah, well, YOU started it.’
Chief Investment Officer
Department of the Treasury